


Speak Truth and Enter

by bagginshieldhappiness



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Bilbo is embarrassed and flustered, M/M, There's much amusement to be had, Truth Serum, bagginshield, truth spice
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-12
Updated: 2015-04-08
Packaged: 2018-03-11 23:42:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3337040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bagginshieldhappiness/pseuds/bagginshieldhappiness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The journey grows even more complicated when Bilbo discovers he can only speak the truth.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. An honest stew

**Author's Note:**

> I've noticed a lack of Bagginshield 'truth potion' fics and decided to give this a try. Based on my own thought of: what if Bombur started adding traditional dwarven spices to the cooking, which has a very interesting effect on hobbits. 
> 
> So this is basically the story of Bilbo Baggins being rendered incapable of speaking anything but the truth after ingesting a certain dwarven spice.

A low grumble could be heard echoing along trees and tumbling hills, booming and growing in ferocity as it cascaded out into the night. The sound disrupted the shrill call of a bird, rudely quieted the chittering of some small creature, and made the earth tremble in its wake.

Perhaps that was exaggerating, considering it was really only the sound of a stomach grumbling. The stomach of a single hobbit, to be precise. Although, one shouldn't judge the size of a stomach by the size of the outer being, and Bilbo Baggins was a hobbit very eager for the night's supper.

A single, solitary supper. The thought would've been dreadful to consider once upon a time during his life, but no longer. He was a true adventurer now, braving the elements with a rowdy group who only laughed at the idea of two suppers. They also laughed about handkerchiefs, doilies, basic propriety, and a great many things.

  
Bilbo inhaled a breath of the crisp night air, allowing it to clear his thoughts as the scent of Bombur's cooking drifted from the nearby fire. Soon the group was crowding around and taking their fill, and the hobbit approached with a quiet eagerness in his footsteps.

It appeared to be some sort of stew, which was usual. It had a slightly orange hue and visible bits of seasoning suspended in thick liquid. Bilbo knew it would taste decently enough, however, since Bombur was a talented cook even with their limited resources.

Gradually everyone settled around the fire on rocks and gathered logs. The hobbit closed his eyes as he relished his first bite, the thundering protests of his stomach slowly easing. After a long and weary day of travel this felt almost like luxury. Not the luxury of home and hearth, yet an acquired kind that was rarely found traveling as they were. The stew wasn't very unlike the others they'd had, though there was a lingering aftertaste that he wasn't quite able to place. It was subtle though and not entirely unpleasant.

As expected the stories and chitchat started up once the group was properly fed. A song or two was sung, jokes and laughter shared, and the hobbit drank it all in feeling heavy-lidded from a mixture of exhaustion and rare comfort. In fact, he almost felt tranquil in that moment, stomach filled and concerns of daily survival temporarily suspended, at least in that moment.

Distantly he was aware of a conversation praising the night's cooking and someone remarking that they almost felt at home again. There were echoing murmurs of consent following that sentiment.

"Good stew tonight, huh Bilbo?" Bofur's voice from beside him forced the hobbit from his mind's hazy thoughts. Bilbo straightened where he was sitting, blinking a few times as he came back to his surroundings.

"I've had better, but under the circumstances I really can't complain," he responded before muffling a yawn with his hand. Seconds later he froze with his hand still at his mouth, eyebrows creasing into a frown. Wait, that wasn't what he'd meant to say.

"I..." Bilbo was very much at a loss. "That isn't what I wanted to say," he added honestly, noticing the amused glint in the dwarf's expression.

His companion chuckled. "Did you hear that Bombur? Your stew didn't meet the standards of hobbit cooking," Bofur spoke much louder than necessary, in Bilbo's opinion, effectively drawing the entire company's attention to a confused and increasingly flustered hobbit.

"No, no, you misunderstood. The stew was mediocre, Bombur," he turned to the round and kindly-faced dwarf to explain with a gentle smile. "Very mediocre indeed, and certainly worse than the previous night's."

Crickets chirped and the wind faintly whistled. Bilbo was keenly aware of thirteen pairs of eyes staring at him.

"NO, wait. That's all wrong!" He could feel his face flushing, and knew it would be all too visible in the firelight. "I can explain!" He was beginning to feel a bit panicked and it was clearly starting to show.

"It's alright, Bilbo. A little honesty never hurt anyone, isn't that right lads?" Bofur gestured toward the others, and there were murmurs and nods of agreement.

The hobbit swallowed thickly, letting out a breath and trying to internally calm himself. With a grimace he simply nodded, not daring to speak again and hoping the attention would drift back to stories and song. Clearly he was in need of rest because he'd quite lost control of his own tongue.

Some of his tension eased as the others did indeed begin talking amongst themselves.  
Bilbo relaxed back against the rock he'd previously been leaning against, ignoring the dull way it jabbed him. He glanced around, observing his companions' faces as firelight flickered shadows all around them.

 

What an odd night it had been, and he eagerly awaited the moment his exhaustion would meet sleep. By morning everything would be normal again, or at least as normal a morning could possibly be when partaking in a dramatic adventure.


	2. Oh Honestly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At last another chapter! The dwarves are overly curious in this one and won't stop harassing our poor hobbit.
> 
> Bilbo is trying. *Honestly*...

By the next morning everything was back to normal.  Well, except for that minor and embarrassing moment when Ori had asked BIlbo how he'd slept and the hobbit had, all too truthfully, told him the details of his dream.  It wasn't his fault he'd dreamed the trolls had stolen and eaten his clothes and that he was forced to ride his pony nude for the rest of the journey.  

  
The young dwarf had blinked and gaped, and Bilbo had cleared his throat and walked away with as much dignity as possible given the circumstances.  But the sun's warming light and the promising scent of the morning breeze had him in good spirits, and he wasn't about to allow the details of a trivial dream ruin his day.

  
Soon enough the entire incident was forgotten as the day to day struggles of traveling demanded their full attention.

  
At nightfall they stopped for food and rest.

They settled around a small fire where the stew was prepared, and soon conversations started once everyone had their bowls filled.  Bilbo's mind was blurred with hunger and he scarcely noticed what they were discussing as he busied himself with the happy business of emptying his bowl.

 

"What about you Mr. Boggins?  Do you have a lady hobbit waiting for you back home?" Kili's voice rang out from across the small campsite, and for a moment Bilbo felt very much like a deer or other woodland creature frozen from sheer survival instinct. 

  
Not for the first time since the quest had begun he felt the focus of the entire group upon him.  Straightening and fidgeting a bit, he glanced around at his companions.  "Ah...no, actually.  No lady hobbits waiting." That was certainly a topic he was unprepared for.

  
"Lady hobbits?" piped up Ori.  "Do you mean to say you can have more than one?" the dwarf asked with honest curiosity.  More than one pair of eyes widened and there was murmuring all around.

  
"What?  No..no," Bilbo laughed exasperatedly.  "That is to say, yes, I suppose it isn't unheard of in a hobbit's younger and more rambunctious years.  We usually only settle with one love interest," he finished explaining with a subtle nod of accomplishment, feeling he'd cleared that up nicely enough.

  
"I would've guessed one mate wouldn't be enough for a people who can't live with one breakfast or even a single dinner," Fili commented with a laugh from where he was sitting beside his brother.  Other laughs joined his soon after, and Bilbo scoffed and smirked in the wake of it.

  
"That's a ridiculous idea," he protested.  "Love and food are entirely different things."  There was a pause.  "Although love making and food can be quite nicely combined.  Dessert especially."

  
Oh wonderful.  He was once again very aware that his mouth was jumping ahead of his thoughts.  He was also aware of the surprised expressions all around him, followed soon after by laughs and lewd remarks.  From across the fire Bilbo was startled to see that Thorin was watching him closely, his expression revealing very little except for one subtly raised eyebrow.  That only led to the hobbit's further discomfort.

  
Bilbo wanted desperately to steer the focus of the conversation away from this particular topic, but before he could persuade his mouth to cooperate Bofur took the opportunity to jump in.

  
"So hobbits are an amorous lot, are they?"

  
"I'd really rather not answer that," he told them honestly, scowling a bit for added effect.  There were protests from all sides of the circle. 

There was clearly no winning tonight.  "Really, for a group who's so private and guarded you're certainly nosy.  Very well, I'll say more only, and I repeat only, if you tell me something about dwarven love and romance."

  
Silence followed that.

  
"What would you like to know?"

  
Well, it was a broad topic, he imagined.  He gestured vaguely,  "Anything.  Do you marry?  Do you have only one love interest or many?"

  
There were shared glances between the dwarves.  "We marry," it was Balin who answered this time.  "Though not many of us.  Dwarf maidens are few among us."

  
"Oh." Bilbo's forehead creased into a slight frown as he observed the expressions of his companions.  "I see."  While Bilbo himself wasn't married and had never been particularly upset over his unpaired state, he imagined most hobbits would react rather differently to the situation.  Perhaps dwarves were different in that regard, as they were in many others.

  
"What are lady hobbits like?  You said you'd answer us now," Kili pointed out eagerly, obviously wanting to hear all about the female portion of the hobbit population.  

  
Bilbo made a pained sound.  It was almost amusing how curious they were.  "Ah, well, they're...very ladylike and respectable..." he began, not really sure how he could describe such a thing.  

  
"There has to be more to them than that," the youngest of the dwarves pouted rather comically.  

  
"Yeah, tell us Bilbo!" Another voice urged impatiently.  Oh for the love of...  These dwarves were impossible.

  
"Yes, _alright._ There is, of course, but I'm hardly the best hobbit to ask."

  
"Why is that?"

  
Oh, curse the entire discussion.  "Because they don't interest me.  If I'm to be interested in anyone it would be hobbit lads."  Again he couldn't keep honesty from slipping out. He coughed lightly, unsure of how this admission would be received by this particular group.  He didn't see any looks of disapproval or hear any sounds of protest, so he continued.  "So you see..  You'll just have to find another hobbit to interrogate about lasses."

   
"That's alright Mr. Boggins!" Kili reassured him cheerfully.  "Uncle Thorin is the same...-"

  
_"Kili,"_ Thorin interrupted sharply, a low note of warning in his tone.  Kili frowned and shrugged in response, looking away with a dramatic huff.

  
Bilbo watched the exchange closely, glad to have some of the group's attention turned elsewhere, even if only for a moment.  

  
"The hobbit has been harassed enough for the evening," Thorin announced with finality.  Bilbo let out a relieved breath and gave the dwarf a thankful nod of acknowledgement.

  
For a time his traveling companions talked among themselves, allowing Bilbo the chance to breathe and to slip in more helpings of food from the dwindling remains of stew.  It was almost enough to count for two suppers.  Almost..

  
He was feeling relaxed and content, and should've known it couldn't last for long when a group of dwarves were involved.

  
"Bilbo, if you have an eye for the lads, then you must find some of us handsome."  It was Kili's voice again.

  
The hobbit cracked open an eye and let out a defeated breath.  The others were watching him again, though this time they appeared subdued with the exhaustion that was making itself known now that their stomachs were filled.  Thorin at least was present enough to scowl at his nephew.

  
"We're all male after all!" the young dwarf added with an encouraging smile.

  
Balin shook his head.  Dwalin rumbled a laugh.  Fili grinned and watched the hobbit expectantly.  Oin lifted his ear trumpet and craned his head to listen.  Gloin watched everyone with a cooly lifted brow.  Bombur munched on a stale biscuit.  

  
Bilbo wanted to respond with _"Really?  I hadn't noticed,"_   but instead what came out was "Believe me, I've noticed," followed with a rather indulgent laugh.  He frowned and went silent, suddenly realizing what he'd said.

  
"So you have noticed us."  It was Bofur's kindly voice.

  
"Some more than others, yes," he admitted with a defiant lift of his chin.  He should really just stop talking altogether but the polite Baggins side of his nature made it difficult at the moment.  

  
"Oh really?" Fili was leaning forward with interest.  "Tell us more, Bilbo.  We want to know which of us a hobbit finds handsome."

  
The hobbit looked around at all the curious faces, feeling his stomach tightening at where the conversation was heading.  Surely they realized this would only make things painfully awkward.  "Oh no.  _No._   I know exactly what you're trying to do, and it isn't going to happen.  If you think for a moment that you'll hear me confess that Thorin is the singularly most breathtaking dwarf that I've ever laid eyes on, then you're sorely mistaken."

  
There was a thump as Thorin dropped his pipe.  Everyone else had frozen and was staring at him.

 

Great.  Just great.   He'd said that out loud.  

  
With a sudden flare of nerves he jumped to his feet.  "I'm going to bed now.  Good night, good evening," he gestured desperately, flustered, "To bed!"  And he stomped (as much as a hobbit was capable) over to find his bedroll. 

 

"And good riddance to the entire day," the hobbit muttered to himself crossly.  What a fine evening that had been.


End file.
